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R: Is for Reset

Sender: World Health Organisation To: All World Leaders Subject: Project RESET Date: 01/01/2020 At recent World Economic Forums (DAVOS), you requested our help in finding a suitable distraction for Project Reset. We believe we have now found the perfect cover with COVID-19.  Coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) is an infectious disease caused by severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV-2). It was first identified in December 2019 in Wuhan, Hubei, China. We now know enough about it to say with authority;…

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Q: Is for Questioning and quarantine 

Questions are what you ask. Questioning is what you do. It is hard to keep questioning for four months straight. It gets tiring, you lose energy and give up. If we all remembered the full incompetence of our government during this crisis, we would be storming Downing Street on a daily basis.  And, it is at that point, those who have locked us up for four months can get away with any old shit. Boris Johnson has just celebrated one…

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P: Pubs

The opening of pubs in the UK marks the end of lockdown. We are, at last, free to do what we do best. Meet up with friends and talk complete bollocks. Rather than sitting at home alone, we can now meet up and compare conspiracy theories; it’s like Brexit, but better.  There is a lot of pent up frustration, so expect friendly verbal sparring over teachers’ unions and face coverings, which probably won't be improved by the inability to hug…

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O: Obesity and other stuff

As landfill sighs from the weight of another week’s PPE, our government’s inactivity on Brexit peeks through the fog and we are forced to wear masks after 18 weeks of indecision (facemask transition?), we arrive at the letter O, which, without further ado, stands for obesity. People who are overweight are less likely to be hired, are lower paid, have fewer opportunities and are often bullied in and out of the workplace. They are also much more likely to die…

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N: Is for Networking

Networking is dead. Actually, it isn’t. Someone I know put a post on social media, saying that if anyone he had worked with previously had any need of work, he would put them in touch with a suitable contact. He has got a lot of contacts, so I told a friend, who had just lost his job. He made contact and has now got a final interview lined up. That’s networking.  The NHS By far the government’s cleverest decision during this…

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M:100 days of solitude

M is for Media After 100 days of lockdown, the UK government is no longer being held to account. Government daily briefings stopped a couple of weeks ago and they are effectively no longer under scrutiny. The BBC has been muzzled by funding threats and the only information we get is leaked to and then filtered through, a  right-wing press.  The Daily Mail has just overtaken the Sun to become the UKs biggest selling newspaper. Like the Sun, it is…

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L is for: Lockdown, leadership, leaks and late-night radio

Leadership Much will be written about our government’s response to Corona-19, and its leadership will be found lacking. Initially, it ignored the threat posed by a potential pandemic, then prioritised herd-immunity, before flip-flopping, imposing a lockdown and failing to protect the nation’s most vulnerable. In hindsight, we can see that lockdown should have occurred earlier, the airports shut and care home patients not readmitted from hospital without accurate testing. The government should have been on top of sourcing PPE, accelerated…

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K: Kick-off and kids in the UK

Kids are pretty much immune from coronavirus and do not seem to transmit it to others. So far, only 1.6% of confirmed Covid-19 cases in England have been among the under 20s and 0.7% of cases in the under 10s. Very similar levels of infections in children have also been reported in other countries. Of 33,614 deaths of people with Covid-19 in England and Wales, as of 01 May, only two were in people aged between 1 and 14.  Children…

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J: Number10

As lockdown starts to take its toll on Britain’s statues, zoos and drive-in cinemas re-open, but Mumsnet stops the UK government from getting pupils back to school, we come to the letter J. For some reason, I have always been aware that the letter J is the 10th letter of the alphabet, which is useful for rapidly calculating what number any other letter in the alphabet is. It rarely comes in handy. J also stands for the following:      Just in…

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I: Interviews

I stands for isolation, something we are now all too-familiar with, ignorance, something demonstrated everywhere on a daily basis and infrastructure, the thing that is currently key to our existence on absolutely every level.    However, all these can all be put aside for now. The murder of George Floyd, in the midst of the Covid-19 vacuum, has led to world-wide disgust, global protests and talk of revolution is everywhere. Comparisons to the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr, a leader…

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