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When you’re in love with your tech

Marriage is a bit like technology. Oh yes it is.

Some people are early adopters. They get married and have two children before you’ve passed your driving test. They’ll probably be on their fourth marriage by the time you hit 50.

Other people refused to buy a mobile phone for at least a decade after mass adoption.

Now everyone, apart from from your granny, has a mobile and no-one is really allowed to ask about your relationship status, apart from your granny.

The New Year is often a time for upgrading our technology and also, according to solicitors, the busiest time for divorce proceedings to get started. 

The Consumer Electronics Show (CES 2020) is currently on in Las Vegas and is as good a place as any for the latest in technological innovation. Here you can see folding phones, Thinkpads, Intel’s Horseshoe Bend, roll-up TVs, PopSockets (a doughnut-shaped wireless charging monstrosity) and concept cars.

Some of these stand no chance in the real world, but take roll-up TVs as an example. LG have disappointed fans by not revealing their ‘much anticipated’ version at CES this year, but it is rumoured to cost in the region of £60,000.  

Some people will jump on this, yes they will. They will buy it and stick it proudly on their wall, like a trophy spouse. Sensible people will wait two, maybe five years, and buy a better, far cheaper iteration. A more mature and settled partner, if you like.

With technology you don’t really want to be the first to show your hand, nor the last to the party; ideally you want to hit the sweet spot, your intended lifelong partner has reached a stage in their life when they are comfortable in their own skin, but still have the enviable attractiveness of what might, hopefully, become a classic.

Essentially, you don’t want it to annoy you as it gets older.

Your investment in technology is a committed relationship; continually upgrading makes you look flaky, it can be degrading for all concerned, and is incredibly expensive.

Like all analogies, this one does not bear too much scrutiny, but whether you refuse to be seen without the latest iPhone (the 11 by the way) and intend to make your home fully interactive as soon as possible, whether you are still happily married after 35 years, on your 5th spouse, or enjoying the single life with a Nokia 3310, who cares?

Just do whatever works for you and remember; the more expensive and flash the technology, the greater the heartbreak when you lose it, or some bastard nicks it.        


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